To say I’m exhausted doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. I should be sleeping but instead my mind is racing and my heart is bouncing between full and heavy.
I’ve struggled all day to concentrate on tasks for work and yet now my mind is racing back over the last week. There are so many great memories…..too many to list and ones I will never forget. The ones that stand out the most for me tonight are hearing some of our warriors speak at the banquet. Hearing their stories through trembling lips of remembered agony of hearing diagnoses and joys of revelations of the important things in life had me in tears that night and again tonight. Walking the 5k with them and knowing that was no small task for some of them was inspirational. They are beacons of light in what sometimes feels like a dark and stormy world. They give life perspective as to what’s truly important. They show me blessings I know are there but take for granted at times. They make me smile through tears and give me strength.
My regret is that there weren’t more days and my body didn’t possess more energy to spend more time with each warrior individually. Saturday after the 5k walk while at Mellow Johnny’s for the second of what would be three times to get gifts, I hit a wall like I’ve not hit in years. To say I couldn’t think is more than an understatement. I honestly didn’t think I would get back to the hotel before I fell asleep. My intention was to lay down for an hour. Three plus hours later I finally was awakened by a phone call. Now mind you I had missed five earlier calls and several texts. My phone was screaming and I was not conscious. I’m not sure why this year was far more exhausting than what I remember of last year. I had made a vow to myself that this year I would be more present and take it all in. Laying here tonight and thinking back over the week, I’m not sure that’s physically possible….at least for me. There is so much to do and so little time and a deficit of energy to compound the matter. So as I lay here feeling like I failed at what my intentions were, I’m reminded it was one weekend. While coming days won’t be in Austin, I hope I can be blessed with more times to spend with my C3 family and our warriors. Love you all!!
I am truly amazed and astonished at the strength and energy our warriors possess! They are truly inspirations! I pray for their source of strength to forever be in abundance and their health to get better and better. I’m devoted to them and to this ride to fight cancer but would love it if someday I just ride to ride because there isn’t a need to fight cancer any longer. Hope God heard that……………